Aftermath
by Jeanie
Summary: The war is over and nobody won.


A/N – This is set about ten years after Harry would have graduated from Hogwarts. The year after graduation, Voldemort started a war. Harry and Draco were together, and Draco had agreed to use his position as the son of a deatheater to become a spy. He betrayed Harry, and all of Dumbledore's followers to Voldemort  
  
Feedback will be petted, coddled and given a good home. Flames will be stored up for winter, when I will bring them out and bask in the warmth of your displeasure.  
  
The song here is 'The Man Who Sold The World' by David Bowie. I don't own it. Neither do I own Harry Potter or any of the Characters therein. That honour belongs to J K Rowling. There is no profit being made from this, if there was, my bank balance would be healthier.  
  
  
  
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AFTERMATH  
  
// We passed upon the stair  
  
We spoke of was and when  
  
Although I was not there  
  
He said I was his friend  
  
Which came as some surprise \\  
  
I saw him coming down the steps of the Leaky Cauldron. It was abandoned of course, just like everything else. Had he been drawn there, like I had, trying to remember a time when the place teemed with witches and wizards?  
  
I was almost surprised when he spoke to me, but not completely. There are so few of us left now. The urge to speak to someone who understands can be overwhelming sometimes. He was shocked when he saw me, it took a moment for the familiar sneer to settle over his features. I suspect that if it hadn't been such a practiced expression he wouldn't have been able to manage it.  
  
"Potter" he said. It was a statement, not a question. He recognised me, despite the years that had passed, just as I did him. "You're still around then"  
  
"As are you Malfoy" I said blandly, refusing to respond to the mocking tone.  
  
"I must say, I'm glad I ran into you. I never got the chance to thank you."  
  
"Thank me for what?"  
  
"Why for all the help you gave us during the war. It was the information that you gave me that made sure our side kept up with yours."  
  
"You know very well that I only told you what I did because I thought you were on our side. I trusted you, the way Dumbledore did Snape." I was amazed at how calm I was. My voice not quavering in the slightest.  
  
"And that was your mistake wasn't it Potter?"  
  
// I spoke into his eyes  
  
I thought you died alone  
  
A long long time ago  
  
Oh no  
  
Not me  
  
I never lost control  
  
You're face  
  
To face  
  
With the man who sold the world \\  
  
I had thought he was dead. I told him so and he laughed.  
  
"Of course I survived. You think I sold you out? That I should have been on your side because you were one of the 'good guys'. No, I can see you don't. You think I should have been on your side because you loved me. THAT would have been selling out. Switching sides because of a pretty face? It's not in me to do that. The only thing I've ever sold is my soul. And it was mine to sell.  
  
People like me don't die Potter. We survive whatever comes because we always know when to stop. When the fight is a lost cause. When it's time to move on. You should know that. You survived. You're just like me. You always were. It was just different people that got to us first.  
  
I chose to ignore that. I couldn't think about it. Couldn't deal right now with the fact that he believed that I was the very thing I was most afraid I had become.  
  
To be honest I was surprised that he had survived. I had always thought of him as the type to give his all for something he believed in. On the other hand, I had thought I could trust him. It seems I was mistaken in a lot of things  
  
// I laughed and shook his hand  
  
And made my way back home  
  
I searched for form and land  
  
For years and years I roamed  
  
I gazed a gazely stare  
  
At all the millions here  
  
I thought you died alone  
  
A long long time ago \\  
  
I had to leave, so with a bitter laugh I said goodbye to the man I had once been in love with and went out into the muggle world. The only world now. I wandered through the streets of London, watching the people.  
  
There were as many as there had always been. There was no difference to be seen, unless you knew what to look for. At one time there would have been small…inconsistencies to be found in the throng of shoppers. A hat that was a strange colour, a shirt that had gone out of style sixty years previously or the occasional owl flying overhead.  
  
Now there were just muggles and it seemed so dreary. As if the life had gone out of the world with the passing of the wizards. The handful of us that were left were not enough for a community. We drifted apart after the war. We went our separate ways. Perhaps it was easier that way. We didn't have each other around to remind us of what had been lost. In any case, Draco was the first wizard I had seen in over two years.  
  
// Who knows  
  
Not me  
  
I never lost control \\  
  
He was right, it was my fault. If I hadn't trusted him, believed him when he said he loved me, the war could have gone a different way. Voldemort wouldn't have known where to find Dumbledore. They wouldn't have duelled. They wouldn't have killed each other. Their followers, enraged by the death of their leaders, wouldn't have been pushed to kill each other until there weren't enough wizards left to keep the fight going.  
  
If I hadn't been so far gone in self-loathing I would have resented what he had said to me. Telling me that we were the same. I would have argued with him…but I couldn't. It wasn't anything I hadn't said to myself.  
  
Because I had done exactly what he accused me of. I had given up the fight. I could see where it was headed and I got out. The Boy Who Lived, only lived this time by leaving. The day before the last battle I fled. I tried to get the others to come with me, but they believed too much in the fight. They couldn't understand why I didn't.  
  
I tried to explain it to Hermione that night. The fact that after Draco's betrayal I couldn't believe in anything. She didn't understand though. She thought that it would make me more determined to fight. She didn't see that so much of my energy had gone into surviving after he left me, that survival was now all I could think about.  
  
So she, and everyone else went to fight the next morning, but I wasn't there to join them. I was long gone. Hidden on another continent, deep in muggle society. And they died. Every one of them.  
  
// You're face  
  
To face  
  
With the man who sold the world \\  
  
I had sold out the world I loved, and had come away with nothing but my own life. A life which was spent trying to fit into a world that could not understand me. And I, unlike them, would die alone. 


End file.
